5 Terrible Video Game Mechanics

(NEW SUPER MARIOS BROS WII U - NINTENDO)

Video games have been around for quite some time, and in those years some new and intuitive mechanics have been invented. In the quest for developers to make the newest and more original game, some terrible mechanics have been created. For the most part, the crappy mechanics have been obliterated, but some just linger there like a stale fart. These are the five game mechanics that I cannot stand and I just wish would go away.

5) Quick Time Events

(RESIDENT EVIL 5 – CAPCOM)

I don’t mind quick time events if they are once in a while or make sense to the story. However, when they are every other move in a game it can be grating, especially if the game has terrible checkpoints. Asura’s Wrath was a very fun QTE game, and Capcom handled all the quick time events very well. I did get very tired of them while playing, though, and by the time I got to the end boss I was QTE’d out. I just wanted to fight the boss normally and end my time with the game. Where I truly began to hate QTE’s was at the end of Resident Evil 5. Capcom set up this beautiful set piece for the final battle with Wesker and what do I get stuck trying over and over? Punching a friggin’ rock! The first time I played through that game I swear it took me about half an hour to get the rock into the lava with steroid infused Chris Redfield. How can Capcom make a great game based solely on QTE’s but ruin the end to another with the same thing?

4) Stylus Character Controls

(THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: SPIRIT TRACKS – NINTENDO)

The Nintendo DS is one of the best handheld consoles ever made; it has great games and some of the best franchises on it, but one of the dumbest control schemes. Why in God’s name would I want to move little Link around Hyrule with a pen? I’m yet to beat both of the DS Legend of Zelda games because I can’t stand using my stylus to control Link. I even have to attack with the stylus and it loses the precision of normal button mashing fighting. The only game that I am currently enjoying with the stylus control is Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, only due to the fact that combat isn’t used with the stylus. It still feels unnatural moving Sonic very slowly with the stylus, but Bioware, in leaving battles out of the stylus equation, was very smart.

3) Underwater Levels

(TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – KONAMI)

Underwater levels have given me nightmares since Super Mario Brothers was released. I remember dreading to see that I had to swim with Mario and make sure that the “floaty” controls didn’t get me killed. Those were the levels I dreaded so much, and I still dread them to this very day. It’s not just the Mario water levels, it is all water levels. The water level in Conker’s Bad Fur Day took me a week or two to beat. I’m yet to beat the Crash Bandicoot: Warped one. I even groaned when Uncharted 4‘s second level was a water level; even Nathan Drake couldn’t make me not dread my time under the sea. I’m just glad there have been no Resident Evil scenarios underwater – that would upset me greatly.

2) Escort Missions

(RESIDENT EVIL 4 – CAPCOM)

Back in the day, escort missions were almost game breaking. The AI was so bad that I remember having to start levels over and over until the AI did what it was supposed to do. Nowadays, they aren’t too bad. I still dislike them, though. In some games I have a hard enough time keeping myself alive, much less so a shoddily programed AI. Resident Evil 4 comes to my mind the most when I think about escort missions. Getting Ashley through all the Las Plagas was such a chore seeing as she would just get picked up by anyone. I remember always finding the nearest dumpster and throwing her in so I could lay waste to all the enemies, then going back to get her after everything was safe. I don’t think I’ve played an escort mission recently, so that makes me think developers may be giving this mechanic the final boot.

1) Timed Missions

(DEAD RISING 2 – CAPCOM)

These missions are my Kryptonite. In the vast majority of games that they are in, those games are usually never beaten by me. I encountered one recently in Spiderman: Shattered Dimensions and almost put the title away, even though I knew I was two levels away from completing the game. I dug deep and ended up finishing the level and the game, but I still cannot stand being timed during a game. What’s even worse is if they “checkpoint” you at a terrible countdown time. That means you have to restart from the beginning and try and try again. I’m yet to encounter an Xbox One or PS4 game with a timed mission, so hopefully this and escort missions got dumped in the trash, never to be seen again. I’ve even heard that Dead Rising 4 is finally ditching the whole timed thing, which is great because it means I can finally beat a Dead Rising game!

Did I miss any game mechanics that you may hate? If so please let me know in the comments.

 

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