9 Counterfeit Video Games That Created Alternate Universes

<p>Only the best video games tell stories that stay with us&comma; and create beautiful worlds to lose ourselves in&period; So beautiful&comma; that all too many of your average con artists can’t wait to rip one off for a quick buck&period; Such is the sad fact for all the counterfeit games littering black markets&comma; but among the piles of knockoffs choking bargain bins&comma; more than a few are capable of providing cringe-inducing curiosity&period; For some&comma; nothing is sacred&semi; even if it means spawning nightmares that were never meant to be&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>If it&&num;8217&semi;s any compensation&comma; there just might be a special place in hell for games that tempt fate with such disastrous results as the ones in these slides&period; Yes&comma; someone out there created these little photoshops of horrors for reasons humanity may never understand&period; Low and behold&comma; here are the most horrifying realities counterfeit games have ever unleashed into our world&&num;8230&semi;and forever they stay&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>Somari the Adventurer<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053529&sol;Somari-The-Imposter&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-70000 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053529&sol;Somari-The-Imposter-1024x426&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Somari The Imposter" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"312" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon;<&sol;strong> Everyone old enough to drive and under probably grew up with some iteration of Sonic and Mario&comma; but &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Somari the Adventurer” probably wasn’t one of them&period; An unlicensed 1994 port of the original Sonic the Hedgehog&comma; sold throughout parts of Russia and Asia on pirated NES cartridges&comma; the unholy mashup of the 80’s icons basically saw Mario run around reused Sonic levels saving tiny animals&comma; all while wearing Tails’s shoes&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon;<&sol;strong> Sega and Nintendo were embroiled in a console war that&comma; in this universe&comma; spilled into their own games&period; Consumed with rage over countless &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Ninten-don’t&&num;8221&semi; jokes&comma; Mario eviscerated Sonic and his friends with a fireball&comma; slipping on Tails’s smoldering shoes as a grim trophy&comma; only to have his fractured psyche take on the partial identity of his fallen blue nemesis&period; Thus &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Somari The Adventurer” was born&comma; the half-crazed fanatic of a console war that never ended in his tormented mind&comma; one that would go uncomforted by all the Mario parties in the world&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em> <&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><em>Tony Hawk’s Underground 2<&sol;em><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053615&sol;Tony-Hawks-Underground-Childhood&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69997 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053615&sol;Tony-Hawks-Underground-Childhood-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Tony Hawk's Underground Childhood" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon;<&sol;strong> Just about every cool kid in 2004 with a skateboard knew how to grind to the tune of <em>Tony Hawk’s Underground 2<&sol;em>&period; Sure&comma; you were never as good as you thought you were at it&comma; but you played it with all your friends&comma; swearing you’d pull off things like &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;ollies” and &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;axels” like you knew what they were&period; The game’s Syrian cover doesn’t seem to share that rebel spirit&period; Rather&comma; it looks as if it’s saying&comma; &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Mom&comma; can I go home&quest; We have video games for this now&period;”<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon;<&sol;strong> Tired of his pointless existence jumping around on a plank of wood&comma; Tony Hawk retired from pro-skating only to contract that Benjamin Button disease of Brad Pitt’s&comma; slowly de-aging back to a forlorn child&comma; unexcited about the prospect of scrapes and boo-boos&period; He glances meaningfully at his skatepark poised for a heavy sigh&comma; watching as his mother posts a picture of his adorable elder years to Facebook&comma; wondering in what universe Sega annualized his skateboarding youth&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>&&num;8220&semi;Miami Vice&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053601&sol;Uncharted-Drakes-Vice&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69998 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053601&sol;Uncharted-Drakes-Vice-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Uncharted&colon; Drake's Vice" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon;<&sol;strong> <em>Uncharted<&sol;em> is that super cool mashup of Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider you always knew you wanted as a movie&comma; but just happens to be a game&period; You travel the world as Nathan Drake&comma; a psychopath intent on dodging bullets&comma; careening off of cliffs&comma; and shooting people for ancient treasures at any cost&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon;<&sol;strong> Nathan Drake finally put treasure hunting behind him and moved back to his home state of Florida to take up life as a bonafide PI&period; That Drake should be given a badge is frightening enough&comma; but that maniacally gleeful smile plastered over his face was downright worrying for Miami’s citizenry&period; Thankfully&comma; a court order placed only squirt guns in his holster&comma; and Miami’s finest could go about life peaceably&comma; thinking he was still Don Johnson in a wetsuit&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2>&&num;8220&semi;Batman Collection&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;h2>&NewLine;<h2><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053643&sol;Bat-Cry-3&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69995 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053643&sol;Bat-Cry-3-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Bat Cry 3" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong>Rocksteady Studios&&num;8217&semi; Batman games are&comma; among other things&comma; the games most known for doing what an entire industry could not&colon; fix Batman games&period; A dark&comma; gritty&comma; and uncompromising vision of everything your friends told you could never happen in a licensed game&comma; the Arkham duo logy &lpar;and soon to be trilogy&rpar; brought the best in free-flow combat and Batman mythos together in one&comma; goon-punching package&period; With all your favorite 90s Batman voice actors in trappings of graphic novel&comma; Arkham Asylum and Arkham city set the standard for what a superhero game could be&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong> The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>After booking a ticket to his favorite cruise liner&comma; he gets marooned on that island of Oliver Queen&&num;8217&semi;s that took up two seasons of Arrow&comma; complete with the electrical outlet that Oliver never found to recharge his phone and call for help&period; Unfortunately&comma; there was nothing to wear other than Batwoman&&num;8217&semi;s suit and the three crappy&comma; pre-Rocksteady Batman games holding up his bunk bed&period; Bummer&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>&&num;8220&semi;Max Payne 3&colon; The Fall of Max Payne&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053515&sol;Fall-of-Max-Payne&period;png"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-70001 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053515&sol;Fall-of-Max-Payne-1024x682&period;png" alt&equals;"Fall of Max Payne" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong> The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong>The Max Payne trilogy is all about the blood&comma; sweat&comma; and tears of a man on a mission to drown his sorrows in as much alcohol as a human liver can take and snort more drugs than a human brain can process all while slo-mo somersaulting into a slow-moving hail of gunfire&period; Because you&&num;8217&semi;re likely high on drugs at any given time&comma; you never know what&&num;8217&semi;s hallucination or reality as Max&comma; but the one thing you know is that you&&num;8217&semi;d be happy if happiness is a warm gun&period; Otherwise&quest; Eh&&num;8230&semi;&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong> The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>We know about <em>Max Payne 2&colon; The Fall of Max Payne<&sol;em>&comma; but attached to an alternate <em>Max Payne 3<&sol;em> could be a different story&period; Here&comma; Max Payne finally escaped his past through good &&num;8216&semi;ole fashioned plastic surgery&period; Assuming the mob would never come after a Final Fantasy emo kid pack&&num;8217&semi;in heat&comma; Max settles down in the Bahamas working as an enforcer to a J-pop band&period; Wait – what&&num;8217&semi;s the catch here&quest; Nah&comma; just another overdramatic video game title here&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>Super Wonderful Mario<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053548&sol;Super-Mario-Alternate-Worlds&period;png"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69999 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053548&sol;Super-Mario-Alternate-Worlds-1024x512&period;png" alt&equals;"Super Mario Alternate Worlds" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"375" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong>We&&num;8217&semi;ve all played it&comma; we&&num;8217&semi;ve all loved it&comma; and we&&num;8217&semi;ve probably gamed away our very lives to Super Mario Bros&period; or just about any iteration&period; You know the story – plumber meets girl&comma; plumber loses girl&comma; and then plumber gets her back and stomps on her kidnapper&&num;8217&semi;s entire family&period; You remember every warp zone&comma; every magic whistle&comma; every time you screamed about that darned bottomless pit you didn&&num;8217&semi;t see&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s everything that makes Mario Mario&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>Sure&comma; you&&num;8217&semi;ve played Super Mario&comma; but what&&num;8217&semi;s super wonderful about &&num;8220&semi;Super Wonderful Mario&&num;8221&semi;&quest; Hallucinogens&comma; most likely&period; In this dark corner of Mario&&num;8217&semi;s world&comma; the man gets cheeky with Snow White&comma; a smiling testicle&comma; Cap&&num;8217&semi;n Crunch&comma; and a sly-looking dragon probably moving in on his lady and or those carrots Mario&&num;8217&semi;s got grown&period; We don&&num;8217&semi;t know what the kangaroo&&num;8217&semi;s doing&comma; but he&&num;8217&semi;s probably enjoying whatever smokable &&num;8220&semi;veggies&&num;8221&semi; Mario&&num;8217&semi;s got growing here&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s good being Mario&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>&&num;8220&semi;Grand Theft Auto San Andreas&colon; Superheroes&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<h2><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053711&sol;GTA-Superheroics&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69993 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053711&sol;GTA-Superheroics-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"GTA Superheroics" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong><em>Grand Theft Auto<&sol;em>&comma; as its name implies&comma; is all about carjackings but in recent entries it&&num;8217&semi;s been all about any and all debauchery illegal&comma; legal&comma; or whatever<em> Saints Row<&sol;em> hasn&&num;8217&semi;t done yet&period; Drive-bys&comma; strip clubs&comma; street racing&comma; do&&num;8217&semi;in a wheelie on some fool&&num;8217&semi;s face – the GTA life is basically messing around the playground of your dreams at not charge&period; Every four to five years makes it even bigger and better&comma; or about the time it takes for Rockstar&&num;8217&semi;s online to work&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>Both <em>Grand Theft Auto IV<&sol;em> and <em>V<&sol;em> received some sort of DLC expansions after launch&comma; but no one ever told us about <em>San Andreas<&sol;em>&&num;8216&semi; spin-off&period; In a universe where DC and Marvel finally shook hands and made friends&comma; Rockstar finally paired them up with the superhero team of our dreams – Batman&comma; Spider-man&comma; Superman&comma; and&&num;8230&semi;ZORRO AND THE MASK&quest;&excl;&excl;&excl; Well&comma; we guess we&&num;8217&semi;d rather have seen Jim Carrey ruin his career with that than <em>Dumb and Dumber To&period; <&sol;em>What we&&num;8217&semi;re not sure about is whether our heroes are here to clean up crime or revel in it&comma; but from the look of Superman&&num;8217&semi;s &&num;8220&semi;I&&num;8217&semi;ma gonna f&ast;&ast;&ast; you up&&num;8221&semi; gaze&comma; we think not&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>&&num;8220&semi;Prince of Persia 3&colon; The Two Theonse&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053436&sol;Princes-of-Alternate-Persias&period;png"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-70003 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053436&sol;Princes-of-Alternate-Persias-1024x682&period;png" alt&equals;"Princes of Alternate Persias" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong>Nothing but your standard &&num;8220&semi;time travel gone wrong&&num;8221&semi; story here&period; The last chapter in Ubisoft&&num;8217&semi;s original &&num;8220&semi;Sands of Time&&num;8221&semi; trilogy&comma; <em>The Prince of Persia&colon; Two Thrones<&sol;em> takes off where boy never met girl&comma; boy never lost girl&comma; and boy now wields a badass sword and chain-whip to reclaim the vague princedom he never really rules anyway&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong>The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>While we could simply see it as a simple misspelling of the obvious&comma; we&&num;8217&semi;ll be imaginative and say that this cover really was intentional&period; Logically&comma; after the Prince wins back his throne&comma; he set sail with his blushing bride&comma; Theonse&comma; and head out to the Rook Islands for an unadulterated week of fun in the sun&period; There&comma; they&&num;8217&semi;re shipwrecked and inducted into the Assassin brotherhood and The Prince&comma; taking up a Party City Ezio costume&comma; must fight the local pirate population while keeping it clean enough to keep his deposit on it&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<h2><strong>&&num;8220&semi;Matrix 2&colon; Path of Neo&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;strong><&sol;h2>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053658&sol;Paths-of-Buff-Neo&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-69994 size-large" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2014&sol;12&sol;05053658&sol;Paths-of-Buff-Neo-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Paths of Buff Neo" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"499" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong> The Real Game&colon; <&sol;strong>That terrible licensed game you and or your sibling probably bought right after you saw <em>the Matrix<&sol;em> in theaters or DVD thinking it&&num;8217&semi;d be as epic as what 1999 film effects could accomplish&period; You thought wrong after spending &dollar;5 on it Gamestop and traded it in for some lunch money&comma; but did think the slo-mo bullet time could&&num;8217&semi;ve been really fun had it been made a few years later&comma; which is also called <em>Max Payne<&sol;em>&period; At least it had all the voice actors in it&comma; who all looked very bored in the &&num;8220&semi;behind-the-scenes&&num;8221&semi; extra you got after beating the game&comma; talking about how starring in this game part of their contract or something&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><strong> The Alternate Universe&colon; <&sol;strong>Sometime after horror of <em>The Matrix&colon; Revolutions<&sol;em>&comma; Agent Smith survives as a virus in a dating sim as a steamy masseuse named &&num;8220&semi;Mr&period; Smith&period;&&num;8221&semi; That he turns out to be an exceedingly popular among Hugo Weaving fans convinces the Architect that there is no hope for humanity and the Matrix is rebuilt&comma; albeit it without Internet Explorer&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Tell us&comma; would you play any of these games&quest; Sound off in the comments below and remember&colon; Don&&num;8217&semi;t pirate games&period; The universe will regret it if you do&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

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