There Will Be Blood… And That’s All | Splatterhouse Review

<p>The other night I was at Target and I was looking for a particular brand of soap&comma; I searched everywhere&comma; but couldn’t find it&period; I ended up calling my wife to ask her if she knew where it was &&num;8211&semi; she did&period; As it turns out&comma; Target had recently remodeled that section of the store and had moved the soap to a different section&period; Long story short&semi; I found my soap and now I’m smelling fresh&excl;  &OpenCurlyQuote;What does this story have to do with <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em>&quest;’ you may ask&period; The answer is &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;nothing&period;” I just find it more interesting than that game&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;23809" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-23809" style&equals;"width&colon; 558px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;blood-splatterhouse-review&sol;splatterhouse&sol;" rel&equals;"attachment wp-att-23809"><img class&equals;" wp-image-23809 " src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2012&sol;08&sol;06131420&sol;splatterhouse&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Splatterhouse Screenshot 1" width&equals;"558" height&equals;"355" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-23809" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">You want blood&quest; We got yer&&num;8217&semi; blood right here&excl;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p><em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em> is a reboot of the classic side scrolling&comma; hack and slash arcade game that stole thousands of quarters from young&comma; gore hounds during the late 80’s and early 90&&num;8217&semi;s&period; Back in those days&comma; the mere fact that the game included over the top gore was enough to entice players to keep pumping in quarters&comma; regardless if the gameplay was any good&period; These days&comma; most video gamers&comma; like those who play on <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;mthashtag&period;com"><strong>먹튀검증<&sol;strong><&sol;a>&comma; are a bit more discerning&comma; as we have traded in the sweaty&comma; smoky game lounges and arcade cabinets for living room couches and high definition consoles&period; Unfortunately for <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em>&comma; Namco Bandai has designed their game much in the vein of its old school counterpart&comma; but the transition from old to new doesn’t quite translate the way we would have liked&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The story in Splatterhouse—if you’re into that sort of thing—is much like the original&period; Rick and his girlfriend&comma; Jennifer&comma; have ventured into the mansion of a mad scientist&period; Jennifer is quickly abducted and Rick is left for dead&period; You take control of Rick as he—at the demands of a strange mask—puts on said mask and is turned into a huge&comma; hulking beast of a man&period; From there on out it’s a trip through various locales and endless streams of enemies&comma; as you save your girlfriend and stop the evil scientist&period; Sound good&quest;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;23810" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-23810" style&equals;"width&colon; 531px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;blood-splatterhouse-review&sol;07-05-12&lowbar;bq&lowbar;review&lowbar;splatterhouse&lowbar;screen&lowbar;1&sol;" rel&equals;"attachment wp-att-23810"><img class&equals;" wp-image-23810 " src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2012&sol;08&sol;06131409&sol;07-05-12&lowbar;bq&lowbar;review&lowbar;splatterhouse&lowbar;screen&lowbar;1-1024x576&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Splatterhouse Screenshot 2" width&equals;"531" height&equals;"298" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-23810" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">Rick checks his nails before jumping back into the fight&period;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>As clichéd as the story may sound&comma; cliché is not the worst thing to happen to video games&period; We’ve played through countless amnesia stories and saved hundreds of princesses and it’s always OK&comma; as long as gameplay stays fresh and interesting&period; Unfortunately for <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em>&comma; the gameplay might start off fresh and interesting&comma; but there isn’t enough progression to keep things that way&period; The meat and potatoes of <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em> is its brutal and gooey combat and it all works like it should&comma; but during the roughly eight hours you&&num;8217&semi;ll spend with the game&comma; it never felt like the character was progressing in his abilities&period; Don&&num;8217&semi;t get me wrong&comma; there’s plenty of moves to be unlocked&comma; but none of them are different enough from the ones you start out with&period; This makes each unlock bitter sweet&comma; making it difficult to get excited about the new additions to your moveset&period; By the end of your playthrough&comma; you&&num;8217&semi;ll likely find yourself using much of the same combat maneuvers that you used at the beginning&period; And when a game is built around nothing but constant combat&comma; this quickly turns into a problem&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>On the plus side&comma; the game does look pretty&comma; in a blood soaked meat factory kind of way&period; The environments change up often&comma; making sure you don’t get bored looking at them&comma; and the cutscenes are nicely animated&period; The regular enemy types are recycled too often&comma; but the bosses are nicely designed and look like something that Tod McFarlane might have dreamed up&period; The big draw for the game though—at least according to the back of the box—is its elaborate gore&comma; and it does the gore thing quite nicely&period; Blood splatters all across the screen as limbs are ripped from bodies&comma; and the QTE kills featured throughout the game would make Jason Vorhees himself jealous&period; For gorehounds&comma; this game has a lot to offer&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;23811" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-23811" style&equals;"width&colon; 558px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;blood-splatterhouse-review&sol;8d79a32467a194ca86051d26c58550953f0068fb-jpg&lowbar;&lowbar;939x820&lowbar;q85&sol;" rel&equals;"attachment wp-att-23811"><img class&equals;" wp-image-23811 " src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2012&sol;08&sol;06131356&sol;8d79a32467a194ca86051d26c58550953f0068fb&period;jpg&lowbar;&lowbar;939x820&lowbar;q85&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Splatterhouse Screenshot 3" width&equals;"558" height&equals;"315" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-23811" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">The inclusion of all three classic arcade titles are a nice touch&comma; but they have not aged well&period;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>As nice as the game may look&comma; there are still just too many problems to overlook&period; Besides the tedious combat&comma; the game is buggy&period; Enemies were constantly sliding through walls and I found myself getting stuck on the environment in every other room&period; One certain bug that seemed to plague me took place whenever I would find a chainsaw&period; It was a bit of mindless fun mowing through enemies with the chainsaw&comma; but it kept disappearing inexplicably&period; I could still hear it running&comma; and whenever I would punch enemies it would make the sound of a chainsaw&comma; but it simply wasn’t there&period; It’s the kind of thing that would be funny if it wasn’t so annoying&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Now&comma; after all that&comma; you may be thinking this is a bad game&period; It falls somehwere inbetween&period; You&&num;8217&semi;ll find spurts of enjoyment&comma; but nothing will stick with you throughout&period;  <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em> is not a terrible game&semi; it’s just incredibly repetitive and as a result&comma; ends up being rather boring&period; The inclusion of all three arcade <em>Splatterhouse<&sol;em> titles as unlockables is a nice touch&comma; but this isn&&num;8217&semi;t reason enough to warrant a recommendation&period; In the end&comma; I really can&&num;8217&semi;t think of any reason to suggest this reboot to anyone&comma; unless you want to hear Jim Cummings &lpar;Winnie the Pooh&rpar; drop several F-Bombs&period; Talk about surreal&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

Exit mobile version