Courageous Gamer: Duke Nukem Forever

<p>Everyone has some fond memories of Duke Nukem&comma; whether it be during his early PC outings or  his most famous adventure on the N64&period; Those who don&&num;8217&semi;t have fond memories are the poor bastards that got stuck playing <em>Duke Nukem Forever<&sol;em>&comma; where Duke should have been put out to pasture&period; Duke in his prime had some great adventures&period; I remember sitting around my buddies dorm&comma; N64 plugged into the tubed television&comma; and watching Duke blow away aliens while reciting one-liner after one-liner&period; Nostalgia has marred the lenses that most people see <em>Duke Nukem Forever<&sol;em> through&comma; myself included&period; I was smart about my purchase of this game though&semi; I waited until the price dropped then with a Surge in hand&comma; I popped it into my Xbox 360&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>I was nervous when I started this puppy up&semi; years and years of developmental hell can ruin anything&comma; but so can expectations&period; Poor Duke got his teeth kicked in by both of these&comma; but he&&num;8217&semi;s not alone&semi; <em>Episode 1<&sol;em> also felt the wrath of high expectations and a huge time gap&period; Now&comma; I did enjoy my time with this game&semi; the world needs more humor as far as I&&num;8217&semi;m concerned and Duke spouting off helps a lot&period; There was just so much wrong with the game that Gearbox could have fixed before releasing the title&period; I know they were on a <em>Borderlands<&sol;em> high and felt they could do no wrong&comma; but listening to a few gamers would have helped them out a bit&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;106871" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-106871" style&equals;"width&colon; 640px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"size-full wp-image-106871" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;05&sol;03165319&sol;DNF&lowbar;Morningwood&period;jpg" alt&equals;"&lpar;DUKE NUKEM FOREVER - GEARBOX&rpar;" width&equals;"640" height&equals;"360" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-106871" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;DUKE NUKEM FOREVER &&num;8211&semi; GEARBOX SOFTWARE&sol;2K&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>The graphics weren&&num;8217&semi;t that bad&semi; I watched the opening cut-scene and when it panned onto Duke&comma; I wondered to myself if he was made of plastic&period; Somehow the texture they put onto him makes him look like an unused Stretch Armstrong doll&period; Maybe they were going for greased up body-building like The Rock&comma; but the tech in the engine just wasn&&num;8217&semi;t good enough&period; The voice-acting however was perfection in a microphone&period; John St&period; John reprises his role as the lead character and leaves nothing on the table&semi; if anyone in the development cared about this title it was John for sure&period; His jokes however could have been better&semi; dated jokes can kill anything and they killed Duke&period; The biggest dated joke that made me groan was the armor joke ragging on Master Chief&semi; I didn&&num;8217&semi;t laugh&comma; I just looked around and made sure no one else heard that schlock&period;  Most of the jokes are written for a 12-year-old&semi; they are dick and fart jokes that completely made me giggle&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The controls didn&&num;8217&semi;t phase me at all&comma; I did not die worthless deaths because Gearbox made sloppy controls&period; What did aggravate the hell out of me was the fact there is no HUD or map for me to rely on&period; The lack of maps in the game did not bother me until I arrived in a cavern that looked the same everywhere&period; What made that cavern even more confusing was the fact that the enemies would spit at me&comma; or shoot goo at me and once it got on your face&comma; your vision was impaired&period; I kept getting lost and dying until I finally aggro&&num;8217&semi;d and killed everything in the cavern&period; Once that was done&comma; I found some landmarks and trudged my way out of the darkness&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;106944" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-106944" style&equals;"width&colon; 640px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"size-full wp-image-106944" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;05&sol;03164252&sol;monster&lowbar;truck&lowbar;version4&period;jpg" alt&equals;"&lpar;DUKE NUKEM FOREVER - GEARBOX&rpar;" width&equals;"640" height&equals;"360" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-106944" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;DUKE NUKEM FOREVER &&num;8211&semi; GEARBOX SOFTWARE&sol;2K&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>Changes in first-person shooters was another nail in Duke&&num;8217&semi;s lofty coffin&period; Since <em>Duke Nukem 64<&sol;em> had been released&comma; gamers had been subject to some of the best FPS&&num;8217&semi;s ever&colon; <em>Halo<&sol;em>&comma; <em>Call of Duty<&sol;em>&comma; <em>Battlefield<&sol;em> and so on&period; Duke stayed in the 90&&num;8217&semi;s with his style and his old tropes&period; If Gearbox pulled him into the 21st Century and made jokes about that in-game&comma; maybe Duke could have been saved&period; I&&num;8217&semi;m beginning to wonder what Gearbox is going to do with this classic character&period; Are they going to give him one more go in a AAA title&comma; will they make him a downloadable character for <em>Battleborn<&sol;em>&comma; or will he find his way into <em>Borderlands 3<&sol;em>&quest; Randy Pitchford is the man to ask&comma; but since he&&num;8217&semi;s a certified magician&comma; he may have just made Duke disappear from gaming forever&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&nbsp&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;