Who is, “The Gamer?”

Sitting across the table from a group of newly-acquainted men and women the other day I found myself once again stuttering and stumbling over my well-rehearsed defense as to why I (a women in her twenties) play, work for, and write about video games.

“But, those things are for kids, right?”

“Yeah, and don’t women normally not play video games?”

(this is usually where I stifle the awkward, high pitched nervous laughter that’s rising in my throat with whatever alcoholic beverage is within my vicinity, then proceed to my rehearsed response).

“No, actually, more than 60% of game these days are rated mature -meaning for adults- and nearly half of all gamers are wom-“

“Oh, that’s cute- you call yourself gamers? I like that! I like games! Am I a gamer? I used to loooove Snake…”

Commence loud circus music and automatic shut down; for the rest of the dinner I sat poking at my tater tots and choking down my Shakespeare stout, urging myself to just get through this so I could get home and play some Dungeon Siege III, and asking myself where I could get Snake for my phone (I miss that game).

It can be difficult to explain to “non-gamers” (I guess that‘s what they’re called?) why what they are led to believe about video games, the industry, and gamers is rarely the reality. We’re not all the upper middle class, angry pre-teen male youths with distant parents and potential addiction problems, and we’re not all older men with hygiene problems whonever leave their caves, which are what the uninformed media and general public generally believe us to be.

It’s not difficult to understand why there’s confusion; even the largest news networks can’t seem to understand that games like Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare are rated M for mature and therefore aren’t intended for children.

Another popular gamer stereotype, one that is scarily a very real thing- but not a majority.

It seems every other week some news anchor or talk show host is all in a tizzy because the newest video game release is a first person shooter and will brainwash their son or daughter into gunning down and then cursing out the family cat.

But we all know this isn’t reality. Just the other day I saw a GameStop employee hold his ground against a team of 12 year olds using downright ridiculous tantrum throwing tactics in the hopes of peer pressuring an adult man into selling them an adult game. He said, “no” (a word I’m guessing these kids had never heard in their lives) and after twenty minutes of rage they left. But even when these kids bring parents with them I am yet to see a GameStop or Best Buy employee not explain that the game they are purchasing for their little angel is rated Mature and therefore probably not the most innocent of titles.

Besides, according to the online gaming association the average income of a gamer is between $35,000 and $75,000 a year; you’re telling me teenagers make this much? Where? And can I go to there?

The point is, the gaming industry makes a lot of mature games, then goes out of their way to make sure that as few underage gamers can get their hands on them (without parental consent) and yet still manages to sell millions of rated M games. If there aren’t adult gamers than how would this be possible? It wouldn’t, which is a good point to bring up when/if you ever find yourself in the position of having to explain why you aren’t the only person who loves video games and is also old enough to rent a car.

As for the assumption that ladies don’t play, it’s getting a little old but I understand. While women currently make up nearly 45% of all gamers (according to The Online Gaming Statistics for 2010-2011) it seems females are reluctant to be as vocal about their gaming passions as the average male gamer. We can blame that on gender disparity, social issues, peer pressure and what have you (we all have our own theories)- but with more and more women entering the industry on every level of production while other ladies become more socially involved online I can’t help but feel things are improving the more we focus on how gaming can be normal behavior and the less we single gaming women out as unique, different, or unusual.

Aside from the age thing, and the female thing, the big assumption about gamers that gets to me is the social thing. It’s become an almost ingrained belief that video games not only promote violence (which again and again is proven to be complete hogwash) but that they create social isolation that perpetuates the existence of weird agoraphobics who mouth breathe, talk nonsensically fast and may or may not murder their neighbors someday.

Well here come some point proving statistics; according to The Video Game Revolution, “Almost 60 percent of frequent gamers play with friends. Thirty-three percent play with siblings and 25 percent play with spouses of parents, even games designed for single players are often played socially.”

Boom. There you have it. Aside from MMORPG’s almost any and every game can be (and is) played with a partner, online, with an on-looking friend, or (as within Journey) with a complete stranger. I argue that gaming brings people together more often than it tears them apart; how many times have you felt instantly connected to someone based on little more than a shared love for survival-horror games? Or found a sibling slightly more tolerable entirely due to a few rounds of Halo? Online gamers have a massive presence; constantly connecting, giving opinions and often offering help and advice, how is this social isolation?

True, a gamer might find themselves more inclined to rush home and level up their enchanting then check out a new nightclub – but putting one preference above the other would be the same as comparing wine enthusiasts to tennis players; it doesn’t compute.

So the next time someone confronts me about why I invest so much of my time, love and life into something they believe is more suited for young men, I guess I’ll simply have to try and remember this.

Being a gamer does not equal one specific person or stereotype; in the same way you can’t usually determine a person’s employment by appearances, so can you not tell a persons hobbies and passions. Gamers come as young as 4 and as old as 104 (gaming is on the rise in retirement centers and among the elderly!), in all colors and all genders.

A gamer in his own right! And who wouldn’t play with this guy?

In the end, it shouldn’t matter what niche society chooses to ordain us, a gamer doesn’t need permission to play, although it would be nice to confront and overcome these stereotypes. I suppose the best way of doing so would be to simply keep moving forward as we are, individual people with different backgrounds, occupations, ages and races who all share one basic thing; we game.

So to answer my own question I suppose that I am the gamer, and you are the gamer (I’m assuming), it’s just that right now we might not fit the profile; but I’m sure that will change.

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