GamerParent: The NES Generation Has Leveled Up

<p>I can recite the <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;metal-gear-rising-teaser-classic-konami-code&sol;">Konami Code<&sol;a> in my sleep and show you where to find every <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;facebook&period;com&sol;BagoGames&sol;photos&sol;a&period;362474900481898&period;83515&period;159779927418064&sol;1070054119723969&sol;&quest;type&equals;3&amp&semi;theater">bobblehead in the Wasteland<&sol;a>&comma; but when it comes to parenting&comma; I&&num;8217&semi;m a total n00b&period; Becoming a parent is hands down the hardest thing I&&num;8217&semi;ve ever done&comma; and this is coming from someone who&&num;8217&semi;s Platinumed <em>Bloodborne<&sol;em>&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s also incredibly scary&period; Not <em>Resident Evil<&sol;em>  scary&comma; but more like &&num;8220&semi;<em>Dark Souls<&sol;em> I have no idea what I&&num;8217&semi;m doing and at any moment could unwittingly screw everything up&&num;8221&semi; scary&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Before I evolved into my current parent form&comma; I viewed parents as the epitome of an adult&period; They were knowledgeable&comma; reliable&comma; responsible&comma; and unbearably boring&period; Parents existed solely to make lame jokes and impose totally uncool rules like &&num;8220&semi;no jumping off the roof&&num;8221&semi; and &&num;8220&semi;don&&num;8217&semi;t turn your Super Soaker into a flamethrower&period;&&num;8221&semi; They were flat characters in the self-important biography of my life whose only input was to crush my childhood vibe&period; The mind-blowing truth is&comma; when you actually become a parent&comma; you don&&num;8217&semi;t lose your sense of self and become a personality-free caretaker drone&period; Contrary to popular belief&comma; you&&num;8217&semi;re still you&comma; just a perpetually exhausted&comma; agitated&comma; stressed&comma; more emotional you&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;109730" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-109730" style&equals;"width&colon; 1024px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"size-large wp-image-109730" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;07&sol;03130258&sol;iStock&lowbar;000061353324&lowbar;Large-1024x682&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Sleep&quest; LOL&excl;" width&equals;"1024" height&equals;"682" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-109730" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">Sleep&quest; LOL&excl;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>Two years ago&comma; as my wife&&num;8217&semi;s due date drew near&comma; I began to realize that there was no definitive guide on how to be a parent&period; There&&num;8217&semi;s no Dad Walkthrough on <a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;gamefaqs&period;com&sol;">GameFAQS<&sol;a> &lpar;I checked&rpar;&period; Sure&comma; I could load up my Kindle with tons of literature from so-called parenting experts&comma; <em>a bull&dollar;&num;&ast;&excl; term by the way<&sol;em>&comma; but every child and situation is unique&comma; and ultimately&comma; I wanted to raise my daughter on my own terms&period; But there&&num;8217&semi;s no cheat code to get your kid to eat their dinner or go to sleep&period; Public hissy fits are like boss battles with no discernible&comma; beatable pattern&period; Regardless of how accomplished or wise any parent may appear&comma; know that parenting is strictly a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation and everyone is pretty much winging it&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>So after talking about how difficult and terrifying parenting can be&comma; this is the part where I&&num;8217&semi;m supposed to reassure you that it&&num;8217&semi;s totally worth it because of how amazingly rewarding it is&comma; right&quest; Wrong&period; And for two reasons&comma; mind you&period; The first is that being a parent is like <em><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;5-reasons-animal-crossing-new-leaf-horrible-game-ever&sol;">Animal Crossing<&sol;a>&&num;8212&semi;<&sol;em>It&&num;8217&semi;s a tough sell to those who&&num;8217&semi;ve never experienced it&period; It doesn&&num;8217&semi;t sound like much fun at all&period; But then&comma; you give it a shot and before you know it&comma; its become a very important part of who you are&period; The second reason&comma; well I won&&num;8217&semi;t bother wasting time convincing non-parents to become parents because that&&num;8217&semi;s not what this series is about&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>If you&&num;8217&semi;re reading this&comma; you&&num;8217&semi;ve probably already made up your mind anyway&period; Besides&comma; the true motivation behind this&comma; hopefully&comma; ongoing series will be to create a brutally honest&comma; first-hand account of parenting as a gamer&period; This won&&num;8217&semi;t be like a polished&comma; comprehensive BradyGames guide showing you every hidden package&period; Instead&comma; this will be more akin to handwritten notes scrawled in the margins of a borrowed copy of Nintendo Power&period; An answer will be there&comma; but you&&num;8217&semi;ll witness my trials and errors&comma; and it won&&num;8217&semi;t be pretty&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;109734" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-109734" style&equals;"width&colon; 800px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"wp-image-109734 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;07&sol;03130151&sol;bathroom&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Bathroom Dad - Bagogames" width&equals;"800" height&equals;"598" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-109734" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">They will find you&&num;8230&semi;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>Also&comma; since parents do a majority of their reading while sitting on the toilet&comma; I promise each of these articles will be short enough to read during that golden window of time before your kid&lpar;s&rpar; start banging on the bathroom door&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>If there&&num;8217&semi;s any topic you&&num;8217&semi;d like me to cover in a future GamerParent article&comma; let me know in the comments&comma; on our <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;www&period;facebook&period;com&sol;BagoGames&sol;">Facebook page<&sol;a>&comma; or via Twitter &lpar;<a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;twitter&period;com&sol;BagoGames">&commat;bagogames<&sol;a> or <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;twitter&period;com&sol;catwo0d">&commat;Catwo0d<&sol;a>&rpar;&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

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