Look Who’s Back – Once Upon a Time: ‘Heart of Gold’ Review

You can take Robin Hood out of Sherwood, but you sure can’t take Sherwood out of Robin Hood, much less in the hood. It can’t be easy munching on mac ‘n cheese crammed in a New York apartment with your wife and kid when you’re used to a fairytale kingdom drowning in gold coins. Robin’s a new guy in town and he learned the hard way about alarms and police. The heart wants what the heart wants and what Robin’s sure wants is kinda off-limited for a married man. But what if he wasn’t as married as he thought he was?

Spoilers (Sort of) Follow

I can forgive Robin for hardly making the jump to the modern age without much grace to show for it when we’re introduced to his new life of domestic bliss in Heart of Gold. Sure, he doesn’t know New York, but wouldn’t he do some research before busting into a locked store? For an episode in which we saw Robin Hood origin story, he sure doesn’t pull off any heists out of Ocean’s 11. Fingerprints are a thing in 2015, man! He does know when to pull his punches on pickpockets, though – but not who to keep as his iPhone lock screen, apparently.

Where they failed with showing Robin’s burglary talents, they highlighted his code of honor nicely. It turns out that old Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin has a more literal broken heart of his own and needs a favor from Sherwood’s finest to nab a potion. It’s not a stretch that he would assist Rumple, just like it isn’t a stretch that he would try to find a happy ending with Marian. It’s unfortunate because the couple doesn’t have any chemistry in any time period – which could be an intentional decision to make the relationship between Robin and Regina more appealing.

Robin’s was hardly the only heartbroken man in Manhattan this episode. His conversation with Gold, despite being all over the good and evil map as it is, was so admirably genuine for the show’s standards. We don’t often get glimpses of the true Rumplestiltskin and any time we do, Robert Carlyle brings so much nuance and power to it. His performance never ceases to make you question everything you know about his characters and no less here, especially with a certain green lady. Yes, if you saw last episode‘s post-credit promos, you already know who I’m talking about – a disservice to the season’s biggest twist, honestly.

As for the big plot point of our episode, I’m not terribly thrilled with the idea of retroactive continuities, much less in a show so notorious for it as Once Upon a Time. But Rebecca Mader’s so delightfully evil it’s hard to pass up a chance to see her at her finest again amidst some kinky bedside blackmail with an unprecedentedly helpless Rumple. Though her rush of a flashback to Robin Hood’s past (and Will Scarlet of all people) is just another black spot on the series’ notorious “Guess who knows how?!” track record, she’s exactly the character that deserved a second chance next to Pan. It’s all too convenient that she never showed he true colors any earlier (did Marian ever really talk that much?), but she’s the match that the show needs in light of its dwindling supply of Queens of Darkness.

It’s true that Zelena’s return couldn’t come at the worst possible time, however. With Maleficent’s kid and the Author both running around in the world, it’s hard to backtrack over old ground. While I love any chance at throwing more femme fatales Rumple’s way, at this point, the detour isn’t building suspense – it’s just threatening to kill the series’ momentum. When you open with a follow-up to a cliffhanger, you generally expect something to, you know, happen?

Robin Hood’s origins slowed the series way down to the kind of break it needed even at the cost of throwing so many of its arcs under the bus. Though I wouldn’t want Once to make a habit out of bringing up the past, Zelena’s wickedly good self is is worth it. If there’s one more person we can add to our Author hunt, than by all means, go for it, girl. But I just wanna know where our Wizard of Oz is. Remember him, Once? You almost married Emma off to his flying monkey ass.

 

Once Upon a Time airs Sunday nights on ABC at 8/7 Central. Catch all the latest episodes at ABC.com and all the latest reviews here at BagoGames.

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