Retro Review: Bulletstorm

<p><em>Bulletstorm<&sol;em> is an interesting first-person shooter that Epic Games and People Can Fly delivered to us in 2011&period; <em>Gears of War&&num;8217&semi;<&sol;em>s Cliff Bleszinski designed the game and it definitely shows in the armor&comma; the attitude and the weaponry&period; Fan-favorite comic book writer Rick Remender pens this game&comma; and man does he let loose with some of this dialog&period; If people thought <em>Gears of War<&sol;em> was over the top with the curb-stomping and the chainsaw guns they&&num;8217&semi;ve got another thing coming with <em>Bulletstorm<&sol;em>&period; I believe that I was the only person in my group of friends that purchased this game&comma; so in 2011 and again in 2016 I had no one to enjoy the online with&period; Hopefully with the upcoming <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;bulletstorm-remaster-way&sol;"><em>Full Clip Edition<&sol;em> <&sol;a>I can enjoy some gory leashing with my buddies all over the country&period; The <em>Bulletstorm&colon; Full Clip Edition<&sol;em> is one of the few remasters that I can get behind and honestly cannot wait for&excl;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>This story begins as all great stories generally begin with a couple of drunk scoundrels torturing a bounty hunter&comma; all while in space&period; During this torture you meet the game&&num;8217&semi;s protagonist Grayson Hunt and his crew of merry men&period; A few flashback scenes reveal to the gamer that Grayson and his buddies were a black ops group called Dead Echo&comma; who find out that their murder missions were not exactly on the up and up&period; Once back in the present Grayson&&num;8217&semi;s ship encounter&&num;8217&semi;s his arch-enemies&&num;8217&semi; ship&comma; the <em>Ulysses<&sol;em> and he plans to attack&period; His target is Star General Sarrano who deployed him on all those fake missions to kill Sarrano&&num;8217&semi;s own enemies&period; During the space battle both ships are gravely damaged and both crash land on the planet Stygia&period; Your mission is to get you and Ishi off of the planet in one piece &comma;all while killing Sarrano who somehow survived his crash&period; To get off the planet you must kill&comma; maim and destroy thousands of baddies&comma; and I can say that you will have a friggin&&num;8217&semi; great time&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;116077" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-116077" style&equals;"width&colon; 960px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"wp-image-116077" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;12&sol;07013629&sol;bulletstorm1&period;jpg" alt&equals;"&lpar;Bulletstorm - EA Games&rpar;" width&equals;"960" height&equals;"540" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-116077" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;<em>Bulletstorm<&sol;em>&comma; EA Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>The controls take some getting use to&comma; especially if you are a frequent first-person shooter player&period; Usually aim and shoot are the back triggers&semi; in <em>Bulletstorm<&sol;em> aim is L1 and shoot is R1&period; I found myself using the L2&comma; which is the energy leash and R2&comma; which is alternate fire on your guns&period; There were times when I was flailing and changing ammo over and over until I got into the groove of the controls&period; The left and right stick are the usual move and look around in the game&comma; circle is kick and I cannot impress upon you how important kick is for you&period; Get used to pressing circle a lot&semi; you can kick the bad guys into the air and then trap shoot them with your guns&period; You can also kick them into huge cacti&comma; fences&comma; off balconies into electric wires and so on&comma; all for Bullet Points&period; When you&&num;8217&semi;re running toward the gunfire you can press X and slide into your enemy as you shoot at them&comma; or your force upon impact can shoot them into an environmental kill&period; Reload is square and you will need to do that constantly&comma; triangle changes your weapon and D-Pad lets you scroll through them until you find the right kind of destruction you need&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Bullet Points are earned by accomplishing some amazing &&num;8220&semi;skillshots&period;&&num;8221&semi; The first time you do a &&num;8220&semi;skillshot&&num;8221&semi; you get the most amount of points&comma; then it drops to a standard point score for each additional time&period; This is what makes the game entertaining&comma; figuring out goofy ways to kill your foe which will allow you to upgrade your weapons and buy ammo at &&num;8220&semi;dropkits&period;&&num;8221&semi; Most of these kills are hilarious&period; I kicked a guy into a giant cactus and received 500 points for skillshot &&num;8220&semi;pricked&period;&&num;8221&semi; This game is so out there&comma; it&&num;8217&semi;s amazing&semi; think of it as first-person <em>Shadows of the Damned<&sol;em>&period; The weapons are a huge draw&period; At first you start out with a typical automatic rifle&comma; then you find a revolver&comma; and then you find the best weapon ever conceived&period; This weapon shoots out a chain that will loop around your enemies which allows you detonate it and kill that enemy and all of his buddies&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s great for the game albeit a little over powered but man&comma; nothing is more satisfying than blowing up a group of baddies because they rushed over to their buddy&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;116130" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-116130" style&equals;"width&colon; 960px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><img class&equals;"wp-image-116130" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2016&sol;12&sol;08224512&sol;402587-Bulletstorm-Limited-Edition-PS3&period;jpg" alt&equals;"&lpar;Bulletstorm - EA Games&rpar;" width&equals;"960" height&equals;"540" &sol;><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-116130" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;<em>Bulletstorm<&sol;em>&comma; EA Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p>Steve Blum leads a stellar voice cast in the game and I cannot tell you the amount of times I had to pause the game and put the controller down so that I could laugh&period; If I didn&&num;8217&semi;t I would have perished from the tears in my eyes&period; The lines that Rick Remender gave to the characters and their overall delivery was just so perfect&period; I will offer this caveat though&comma; if you are easily offended&comma; don&&num;8217&semi;t like dick jokes&comma; dislike gratuitous violence and overall just hate having a good time I&&num;8217&semi;m sure you&&num;8217&semi;ll love <em>Cooking Mama<&sol;em>&period; I simply cannot gush more about this game&comma; I want to get my hands on it in super HD and I&&num;8217&semi;m going to implore my friends to join me on Stygia&period; I will say this if you want to get a version before the remaster comes out&comma; get the Xbox 360 version&comma; I&&num;8217&semi;ve played both and the Xbox 360 version holds up graphically better&period; On the PS3 I experienced a lot of digital tiling and slower frame-rate&period; So if you simply cannot wait to kill some primitive screwheads and laugh your ass off as you play&comma; pick this game up &&num;8211&semi; it&&num;8217&semi;s the game that keeps on giving&comma; or in the immortal words of Grayson &&num;8220&semi;it&&num;8217&semi;s persistent&comma; like Herpes&period;&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;