Tap Anywhere To Sigh – Lara Croft: Relic Runner Review

<p>See Lara run&period; See Lara jump&period; See Lara pay &dollar;9&period;99 for an extra life&period; That&&num;8217&semi;s the gist of <em>Lara Croft&colon; Relic Runner<&sol;em> and the fleet-footed antics of its leading lady&period; A slapped-together endless runner with the <em><a href&equals;"http&colon;&sol;&sol;See Lara run&period; See Lara jump&period; See Lara pay &dollar;9&period;99 for an extra life&period; That's the gist of Lara Croft&colon; Relic Runner and the fleet-footed antics of its leading lady&period; A slapped-together endless runner with the Tomb Raider brand&comma; Relic Runner packs all the right ideas and none of the charm as a joyless time-waster from the folks who brought you Final Fantasy&period; As its title suggests&comma; Relic Runner sees you running&comma; jumping&comma; and swinging at high speeds as world-renown archeologist Lara Croft collecting clues to &quot&semi;hidden&quot&semi; artifacts as you sprint along a three-lane track&period; At face-value&comma; the gameplay's good&comma; clean fun&period; Naturally&comma; a swipe of your finger lets you change lanes and go up&comma; down&comma; left&comma; and right&comma; as you sidestep swinging axes and leap giant chasms in a single bound&period; These contextual controls handle nicely while Lara's moves are fondly reminiscent of the fast-paced parkour from The Prince of Persia&period; It's a shame the game insists on showcasing them over and over again&period; Lara Croft Relic Runner Environments BagoGames Relic Runner thinks it's cool and it feels like it needs to show you each and every time&period; This is your good 'ole&comma; hot pants Lara embodying the cheeky&comma; irreverent tone of the series' olden days&comma; often at the cost of your play session&period; The time it takes to watch Lara vault through the air in slow-motion's just enough to break your concentration and given the split-second timing required to pull off a jump&comma; it's just not worth it to stare at Lara doing slo-mo cartwheels only to see her smack into a tree branch headfirst&period; When she's not running from resident T-Rexes or sky-diving off of random ATVs like a buxom Vin Diesel&comma; Lara does get in some old-fashioned target practice&period; The game's shooting galleries add a new definition to the term run 'n gun as certain&comma; on-rail segments have Lara whip out her dual pistols on spear-wielding lizard men&comma; shooting conveniently-placed barrels and money&sol;ammo crates&period; They're all adequate distractions from Relic Runner's track and field schtick&comma; save for their third or fourth time around&period; You can also earn achievements for coins and gemstones&comma; or connect with your friends on Facebook to see your leaderboard rankings as the game will needlessly remind you at every opportunity&period; Lara Croft Relic Run Starting Menu &num;2 BagoGames The courses themselves are just as mundane – all two of them&period; As of now&comma; the game's limited to just &quot&semi;Jungle Temple&quot&semi; and &quot&semi;Desert Ruins&comma;&quot&semi; while a third&comma; Mountain Pass&comma; is allegedly &quot&semi;Coming Soon&period;&quot&semi; Both feel like merely running through the motions&comma; so to speak&comma; of what amounts to obstacle course in the jungle or an obstacle course in the sand&period; Either dish out the same cheap shots – trees or columns that all blend together or collapsing pits&period; It's less and less fun to dust yourself and try again while tirelessly memorizing every booby-trap&comma; all while suppressing the defeated image of a contorted Lara's rag-doll physics&period; Dying and dying often is the territory that comes with the genre and Relic Runner revels in a perpetual death spiral&period; Once dead&comma; players will be set back to the beginning of the course unless they choose to resurrect Lara&period; You can do this with an ankh that you can obtain by watching some inane 30-second ad or buying one with gemstones from the in-game store&comma; the latter of which can cost you anywhere from &dollar;&period;99 to &dollar;49&period;99&period; As each death raises the number of ankhs required to raise Lara from the dead&comma; it's less costly to let yourself die and start over again&comma; but time is money and Relic Runner insists you spend a whole lot of it&period; Indeed&comma; it seems that at no point is Relic Run not littered with &quot&semi;buy me&excl;&quot&semi; signs&period; In it&comma; you can buy a variety of items &lpar;charms&comma; ammo&comma; power-ups&rpar; and weapons &lpar;guns&comma; grenades&comma; crossbows&rpar; as well as &quot&semi;outfits&quot&semi; to play Barbie with Lara&period; Biker Lara&comma; Bomber Lara&comma; and Stealth Lara – they'd be ridiculous enough in themselves if not for their price tag&period; I'm not sure which of them Square Enix expects more people to buy&comma; Whether you're riding a bus or taking an extended crap&comma; Relic Run accomplishes the meager task it's meant to do&colon; kill some minutes and lighten your wallet&period; Though it does no favors for the genre nor will it likely broaden Tomb Raider's horizons for the better&comma; Square Enix's soulless dollar-dash realizes what the franchise ought to be on mobile if not with the focus it deserves&period;">Tomb Raider<&sol;a><&sol;em> brand&comma; <em>Relic Runner<&sol;em> packs all the right ideas and none of the charm as a joyless time-waster from the folks who brought you <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;e3-2015-final-fantasy-vii-is-actually-being-remade&sol;">Final Fantasy<&sol;a>&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>As its title suggests&comma; <em>Relic Runner<&sol;em> sees you running&comma; jumping&comma; and swinging at high speeds as world-renown archeologist Lara Croft&comma; collecting clues to ancient &&num;8220&semi;hidden&&num;8221&semi; artifacts as you sprint along a three-lane track&period; At face-value&comma; the gameplay&&num;8217&semi;s good&comma; clean fun&period; Naturally&comma; a swipe of your finger lets you change lanes and go up&comma; down&comma; left&comma; and right&comma; as you sidestep swinging axes and leap giant chasms in a single bound&period; These contextual controls handle nicely while Lara&&num;8217&semi;s moves are fondly reminiscent of the fast-paced parkour from <em>The Prince of Persia&period; <&sol;em>It&&num;8217&semi;s a shame the game insists on showcasing them over and over again&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Runner-Environments-BagoGames&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-85902 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Runner-Environments-BagoGames&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Lara Croft Relic Runner Environments BagoGames" width&equals;"800" height&equals;"465" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>Relic Runner<&sol;em> thinks it&&num;8217&semi;s cool and it feels like it needs to show you each and every time&period; This is your good &&num;8216&semi;ole&comma; hot pants Lara embodying the cheeky&comma; irreverent tone of the series&&num;8217&semi; olden days&comma; often at the cost of your play session&period; The time it takes to watch Lara vault through the air in slow-motion&&num;8217&semi;s just enough to break your concentration and given the split-second timing required to pull off a jump&comma; it&&num;8217&semi;s just not worth it to stare at Lara doing slo-mo cartwheels only to see her smack into a tree branch headfirst&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>When she&&num;8217&semi;s not running from resident T-Rexes or sky-diving off of random ATVs like a buxom Vin Diesel&comma; Lara does get in some old-fashioned target practice&period; The game&&num;8217&semi;s shooting galleries add a new definition to the term run &&num;8216&semi;n gun as certain&comma; on-rail segments have Lara whip out her dual pistols on spear-wielding lizard men&comma; shooting conveniently-placed barrels and money&sol;ammo crates&period; They&&num;8217&semi;re all adequate distractions from <em>Relic Runner<&sol;em>&&num;8216&semi;s track and field schtick&comma; save for their third or fourth time around&period; You can also earn achievements for coins and gemstones&comma; or connect with your friends on Facebook to see your leaderboard rankings as the game will needlessly remind you at every opportunity&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Run-Shooting-BagoGames&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-85905" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Run-Shooting-BagoGames&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Lara Croft Relic Run Shooting BagoGames" width&equals;"750" height&equals;"469" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The courses themselves are just as mundane – all two of them&period; As of now&comma; the game&&num;8217&semi;s limited to just &&num;8220&semi;Jungle Temple&&num;8221&semi; and &&num;8220&semi;Desert Ruins&comma;&&num;8221&semi; while a third&comma; Mountain Pass&comma; is allegedly &&num;8220&semi;Coming Soon&period;&&num;8221&semi; Both feel like merely running through the motions&comma; so to speak&comma; of what amounts to obstacle course in the jungle or an obstacle course in the sand&period; Either dish out the same cheap shots – trees or columns that all blend together or collapsing pits&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s less and less fun to dust yourself and try again while tirelessly memorizing every booby-trap&comma; all while suppressing the defeated image of a contorted Lara&&num;8217&semi;s rag-doll physics&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Dying and dying often is the territory that comes with the genre&comma; and <em>Relic Runner<&sol;em> revels in a perpetual death spiral&period; Once dead&comma; players will be set back to the beginning of the course unless they choose to resurrect Lara&period; You can do this with an ankh that you can obtain by watching some inane 30-second ad or buying one with gemstones from the in-game store&comma; the latter of which can cost you anywhere from &dollar;&period;99 to &dollar;49&period;99&period; As each death raises the number of ankhs required to raise Lara from the dead&comma; it&&num;8217&semi;s less costly to let yourself die and start over again&comma; but time is money and<em> Relic Runner<&sol;em> insists you spend a whole lot of it&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Run-Parkour-BagoGames&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter wp-image-85899 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;06&sol;Lara-Croft-Relic-Run-Parkour-BagoGames&period;jpg" alt&equals;"Lara Croft Relic Run Parkour BagoGames" width&equals;"800" height&equals;"465" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Free-to-play may not mean free of distraction&comma; as it seems that at no point is<em> Relic Run<&sol;em> not littered with &&num;8220&semi;buy me&excl;&&num;8221&semi; signs&period; In it&comma; you can buy a variety of items &lpar;charms&comma; ammo&comma; power-ups&rpar; and weapons &lpar;guns&comma; grenades&comma; crossbows&rpar; as well as &&num;8220&semi;outfits&&num;8221&semi; to play Barbie with Lara&period; Biker Lara&comma; Bomber Lara&comma; and Stealth Lara – they&&num;8217&semi;d be ridiculous enough in themselves if not for their price tag&period; I&&num;8217&semi;m not sure which of them <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;square-enix-e3-2015-conference&sol;">Square Enix<&sol;a> expects more people to buy – hot leather for Lara&&num;8217&semi;s heatstroke or turtle charms for warding off&&num;8230&semi;turtle curses&quest;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Whether you&&num;8217&semi;re riding a bus or taking an extended crap&comma; <em>Relic Run <&sol;em>accomplishes the meager task it&&num;8217&semi;s meant to do&colon; kill some minutes and lighten your wallet&period; Though it does no favors for the genre nor will it likely broaden <em>Tomb Raider<&sol;em>&&num;8216&semi;s horizons for the better&comma; Square Enix&&num;8217&semi;s soulless dollar-dash realizes what the franchise ought to be on mobile if not with the imagination – and focus – it deserves&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

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