Venture into the Borderlands – Part 2: Roland’s Disapproving Gaze

<p class&equals;"western">Welcome to the second part of my written Let&&num;8217&semi;s Play adventure &lpar;which you can find the first part to right <strong><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;bagogames&period;com&sol;venture-borderlands-part-1-funny-little-robot&sol;" target&equals;"&lowbar;blank" rel&equals;"noopener noreferrer">here<&sol;a><&sol;strong>&excl;&rpar; dubbed &&num;8220&semi;Venture into the Borderlands&comma;&&num;8221&semi; where I slowly drag my way through <em>Borderlands 2&comma;<&sol;em> one 5-hour-chunk at a time&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">You may recall that last week we got up to arriving at Sanctuary&period; I had done one or two side missions there&comma; but the story mission I had to do was saving Roland from Firehawk &lpar;not the car&comma; that&&num;8217&semi;s Firebird&comma; and not <em>Borderlands<&sol;em>&&num;8216&semi;s Mordecai&&num;8217&semi;s pet hawk&semi; that&&num;8217&semi;s Bloodwing with an incendiary Eridian artefact attached&rpar;&period; However&comma; after being told the urgency to rescuing Roland&comma; I had instead grinded for passive bonuses instead by playing sports with the local wildlife&period; &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Don&&num;8217&semi;t worry&comma; he can wait&comma; the game wouldn&&num;8217&semi;t punish me for it&&num;8211&semi;I am sure of it&period;”<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Well&comma; I was right&period; C&&num;8217&semi;mon&comma; did you expect anything else&quest;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;95068" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-95068" style&equals;"width&colon; 1280px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112940&sol;1&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"wp-image-95068 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112940&sol;1&period;jpg" alt&equals;"" width&equals;"1280" height&equals;"720" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-95068" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;Borderlands 2&comma; 2K Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><em><strong>Although Roland is disappointed&period;<&sol;strong><&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">In fact&comma; Firehawk was confused why I thought they had it&period; They were pals&comma; comrades in the fight against Handsome Jack and had even dated at one point&period; We shared a laugh about it and then told me &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;no&comma; seriously&comma; Roland is in a bandit jail&comma; as in a jail owned by bandits and not a jail for bandits&period;” So off I went to go free the hero Sanctuary wants &lpar;and not the one they deserve&rpar;&comma; except I came up against the toughest enemy I had faced yet&colon; a locked gate&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">This gate&comma; however&comma; didn&&num;8217&semi;t come with a keyhole&comma; but instead a passphrase I had to gather&period; I had to trick the guard inside that I was their friend by mimicking their bandit buddy&&num;8217&semi;s truck&&num;8217&semi;s horn by getting my own bandit buddy truck with its own horn&period; What can I say&quest; <em>Borderlands 2<&sol;em> is a RPG FPS&comma; not a point-n-click adventure game involving sticking selotape to cat-flaps and hounding a cat to run by it thus making a moustache&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">It is at this point we meet Ellie&comma; who&comma; like her brother Scooter&comma; is a mechanic&period; <em>Borderlands 2<&sol;em>&comma; despite its abuse of memes &lpar;e&period;g&period; SERIOUSLY AXTON&comma; STOP TELLING PEOPLE &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;COOL STORY BRO” OR I SWEAR I WILL STAPLE YOUR MOUTH SHUT&rpar;&comma; does something surprising&colon; It avoids using her weight as the punchline to a joke or three&comma; but instead uses it to add dimension to her&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;95070" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-95070" style&equals;"width&colon; 1280px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112914&sol;2&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"wp-image-95070 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112914&sol;2&period;jpg" alt&equals;"2" width&equals;"1280" height&equals;"720" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-95070" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;Borderlands 2&comma; 2K Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><b><i>Except when limited by technical things&period; In those cases&comma; Ellie is a clay-like thing that may be some kind of sacrificial idol to an undying god&period;<&sol;i><&sol;b><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">This is a nice&comma; unexpected moment&comma; as I feel many representations of overweight people tend to use that &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;defining feature” &lpar;on the account of being a caricature&rpar; as both a punchline and the whole extent of their character&period; One such example that still grinds on me &lpar;although partially due to the out-of-place nature of it&rpar; is Norton Mapes from <em>F&period;E&period;A&period;R<&sol;em> who serves as the comic relief&comma; including an irritatingly poor joke involving Mapes getting stuck in a vent&&num;8230&semi;Because he&&num;8217&semi;s fat&period; If they have any other aspect of themselves&comma; their obesity is less used as part of themselves and more as the main character flaw&comma; from <em>Punchout&&num;8217&semi;s<&sol;em> King Hippo&comma; to Fat Princess&comma; all the way to Rufus and Birdie from <em>Street Fighter<&sol;em>&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">It isn&&num;8217&semi;t to suggest all humour involving fat as the punchline should be eliminated&period; I personally don&&num;8217&semi;t find it humorous&comma; but each to their own at the end of the day&period; I find it more interesting that amongst this sea of fat characters in games&comma; a very small minority not only avoids using their weight as a comedy leaning-post&comma; but it also recognizes that it does have an impact on them&period; Despite being what seems to be primarily a comedy game &lpar;at least it seems its intention&rpar;&comma; <em>Borderlands 2<&sol;em> manages to characterise Ellie as an obese woman who&comma; while affected by her weight &lpar;e&period;g&period; Moxie wanting her to lose weight so Ellie could&&num;8230&semi; &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Work” for her&rpar;&comma; is her own independent character with non-weight related thoughts and feelings &lpar;such as how awesome hood ornaments are&rpar;&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Anyway&comma; after helping assemble the car &lpar;which blows things up by launching explosive barrels and is roughly as awesome as it sounds&comma; minus the awkwardness you&&num;8217&semi;d expect&rpar;&comma; finding some hood ornaments&comma; and helping Loggins get back at his elite aviator crew who kicked him out for ruining their beach volleyball game &lpar;before you ask&semi; yes&comma; it is a reference to exactly what you&&num;8217&semi;re thinking of&rpar;&comma; off I went back to the fort&period; This time&comma; with a quick beep of my horn&comma; the gates opened to a crimson courtyard that I think used to be brown before I arrived&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">I then looked upon a fort that part of me genuinely couldn&&num;8217&semi;t work out if bandits did it or not&period; It has the hallmarks of insane banditry&comma; yet if I was a corporation trying to intentionally hide my work&comma; what better place is there&quest; I mean&comma; look at it&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;95071" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-95071" style&equals;"width&colon; 1280px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112859&sol;3&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"wp-image-95071 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112859&sol;3&period;jpg" alt&equals;"3" width&equals;"1280" height&equals;"720" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-95071" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;Borderlands 2&comma; 2K Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><em><strong>Seriously&comma; look at it&period;<&sol;strong><&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Okay&comma; I have to say this section of the game features some pretty excellent environmental design in terms of pure aesthetics&comma; characterisation&comma; and environment&period; Sure&comma; it is let down by the linear nature that makes coming back to do side-quests a headache as well as some pretty awful water effects that look like transparent gel&comma; but putting that aside it is probably the most awe-inspiring moment in the game so far&comma; personally &lpar;including the entrance above&rpar;&period; So&comma; like an elderly couple back from holiday&comma; I would like to show my screenshots of the fort and the section just after&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;95072" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-95072" style&equals;"width&colon; 617px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112843&sol;4&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"wp-image-95072 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112843&sol;4&period;jpg" alt&equals;"4" width&equals;"617" height&equals;"1386" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-95072" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;Borderlands 2&comma; 2K Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><em><strong>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;And here&comma; my dear&comma; is where I went to a particularly nice cafe and eviscerated everyone in the queue with a teaspoon&period; By the end&comma; they either knew their manners or were gargling on their own blood&period; It’s the way things are when you go on a campervan holiday down to Somerset&period;”<&sol;strong><&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Anyway&comma; back to story time&period; So fortunately Roland is just taking a nap in jail when&comma; due to me being followed&comma; Handsome Jack swoops in and grabs him&period; After failing to get him back at the Marcus monument above &lpar;because what bandit doesn&&num;8217&semi;t love weaponry that shoots fire&quest;&rpar;&comma; I then managed to grab him at a nearby Hyperion facility&period; Roland goes home&comma; meets Lilith again&comma; and we all have pink lemonade&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Except that&&num;8217&semi;s not the end of my wandering in the Pandora wastelands&period; What RPG doesn&&num;8217&semi;t have countless side missions that continue to keep making references to things &lpar;I spotted you <em>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles<&sol;em>&rpar;&quest; Most of them&period; However <em>Borderlands 2<&sol;em> is&comma; if nothing else&comma; unique in its ability to lean on referential humour as hard as it does&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">It&&num;8217&semi;s simultaneously surprising and predictable&comma; though&comma; that the most memorable of the side-quests were the ones that went by without a reference I could spot&period; One involved helping a fire cult who could be just harmless in their self-immolation&comma; until the moment they decided to play <em>Wickerman<&sol;em> with a Pandora citizen&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Although&comma; after helping Matchstick see fiery enlightenment&comma; the game begun to randomly stutter as though my PC was about to hit a blue screen of death&period; The thing I was more paranoid about than my save file &lpar;which I trust is in cloud storage&rpar; was my unsaved list of screenshots&period; I had taken a lot and hadn&&num;8217&semi;t touched them since I begun playing four hours prior&period; I should have quit the game and gone to sort that out&comma; but once the stuttering stopped the anxiety about crashing drained from my body&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<figure id&equals;"attachment&lowbar;95073" aria-describedby&equals;"caption-attachment-95073" style&equals;"width&colon; 1280px" class&equals;"wp-caption aligncenter"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112830&sol;5&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"wp-image-95073 size-full" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112830&sol;5&period;jpg" alt&equals;"5" width&equals;"1280" height&equals;"720" &sol;><&sol;a><figcaption id&equals;"caption-attachment-95073" class&equals;"wp-caption-text">&lpar;Borderlands 2&comma; 2K Games&rpar;<&sol;figcaption><&sol;figure>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><em><strong>If Matchstick symbolises anything&comma; it is the creeping sensation that you just cooked your PC&period;<&sol;strong><&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">On the third stutter&comma; the game closed suddenly&period; It wasn&&num;8217&semi;t a crash&comma; as the screenshot manager popped up and closed straight away&period; This was something more devious than simple hardware &lpar;or software&rpar; malfunction&comma; now shutting everything down&period; This was something crueller&comma; as now I risked losing my save due to a potential corruption &lpar;which would have ended the Let&&num;8217&semi;s Play&rpar; and risked destroying all 50&plus; screenshots &lpar;which would have led to me relying on basic Google Images&rpar;&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">This was Windows Update suddenly rearing its head without warning&comma; restarting my computer&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Fortunately though&comma; I managed to get my screenshots back&comma; and my save file was left unharmed by the tackle Windows did on my game&period; Sure&comma; it kicked me back to a checkpoint where I had to go back to more running &lpar;it was about 20&plus; minutes of just running&rpar;&comma; but everything was completely fine&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">Another quest set me out to keep putting a robot into things under the promise it wouldn&&num;8217&semi;t kill me this time&comma; except every time it does try to murder me&comma; including one time it tried to drive me to suicide with a Gearbox karaoke night mix tape&period; Where that quest really hit a high point was upon getting the shotgun for completing the quest&comma; it begun to talk to me&period; So naturally I sold my better shotgun&comma; kept that one and&comma; like seeing a particularly psychotic therapist&comma; have been getting positive reinforcement for my murdering ever since&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112814&sol;6&period;jpg"><img class&equals;"aligncenter size-full wp-image-95074" src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;cdn&period;bagogames&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2015&sol;11&sol;04112814&sol;6&period;jpg" alt&equals;"6" width&equals;"1280" height&equals;"720" &sol;><&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western" style&equals;"text-align&colon; center&semi;"><b><i>The type of psychotic therapist who leaves me messages&period;<&sol;i><&sol;b><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">So&comma; after weighing up if I should help Roland with his urgent train issue&comma; I&&num;8217&semi;ve decided to take on one of the DLCs next week&period; Something about some form of panicking about Sanctuary&comma; the Crimson Raiders&comma; and their leader Roland just inspires a feeling in me like there has to be something else to do&period; Maybe they can wait&comma; with held breath&comma; to see if Handsome Jack will indeed turn Sanctuary into a crater so deep and inhospitable it&&num;8217&semi;ll only be a sanctuary for a hole-y cult&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p class&equals;"western">&&num;8230&semi;Ah&comma; bugger off&comma; I&&num;8217&semi;ll see you next week&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;

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