Weapons have been a staple of video games ever since the medium was first created. And over the past few decades, video game weapons have been getting more and more ingenious, with developers coming up with increasingly creative ways for players to combat enemies. However, they’ve also come up with some ridiculous video game weapons.
It’s not that the developers intentionally decide to make some weapons ridiculous – although there is that, too – but sometimes, these weapons just come across as way too over the top. However, as gamers a lot of the time we don’t tend to criticize; many times, these ridiculous video game weapons make in-game sense.
But, by taking a step back, we can actually see how over the top, or just plain ridiculous some of these weapons are.
Dubstep Gun – Saints Row IV
With the exception of the first entry in the franchise, Saints Row has never been the type to take itself seriously. After all, not many games in the genre could directly compete with the Grand Theft Auto franchise, so the developers had to do a lot in order to stand out.
Instead, Saints Row went a different route, instead forging ahead with some ridiculous content, and even more ridiculous weapons. Chief among these is the Dubstep Gun, which allows players to literally blow their enemies away with the power of music. Why they chose Dubstep escapes many players, but the choice of music genre seems to fit with most of the other in-game content, so why question something that works.
Teddy Bear – Prince Of Persia
The Prince of Persia franchise has never been known for being ridiculous; the vast majority of each game’s content has been serious, and it hasn’t even come close to verging on the silly. However, that changed slightly with Prince of Persia: Warrior Within.
Probably one of the cutest entries that we’ll see, Warrior Within’s Teddy Bear goes a bit further than just being ridiculous. Instead, it’s more of an optional ‘If you just don’t care anymore’ type of weapon for Prince of Persia players.
Bitzball – Final Fantasy X
Anyone who’s ever played Final Fantasy X knows what Blitzball is; for those who don’t, it’s the fictitious sport in the game in which many characters are either famous players of or who are somewhat linked to. Even the opening sequence of the game focuses on the sport and the main character’s prowess therein.
However, playable character Wakka takes his love of Blitzball to a whole new level; instead of merely speaking about his love of the game, he actively uses a Blitzball in combat in order to defeat enemies. Pretty much Final Fantasy X’s version of using a soccer ball in order to attack bears.
Dolls – Final Fantasy X
Speaking of Final Fantasy X, Wakka’s combat antics aren’t the only ones that are somewhat ridiculous. Lulu, another main playable character, takes ridiculous video game weapons to another level, utilizing a number of dolls as her primary weapons.
The dolls contrast with Lulu’s goth-inspired look, and unsurprisingly the dolls themselves don’t deal much damage. Instead of using the dolls as a source of magic or power, they simply just run toward the enemies and bump into them.
So, their power is being cute? It also doesn’t help that the dolls that Lulu collects are all modeled after a number of Final Fantasy characters or staples, such as Moogles, Caith Sith and more.
Gun Chucks – Bayonetta
Nun-chucks are great weapons. Guns are great weapons. Both can be pretty great for any game. However, the two of them together, what could go wrong? Now we’re starting to get into the absurd. But, we can’t really expect more from Bayonetta.
After all, the entire game has its fair share of ridiculousness; take the titular characters costumer, for example. Made from her own hair, it’s hard to be surprised by anything else in the game. It would be more surprising if there was something actually normal in-game.
Penetrator – Saints Row 3
As ridiculous as the Dubstep Gun was, it doesn’t compare to Saints Row 3’s Penetrator. Described by the Saints Row developers as having “the absurdity of a sex toy with the lethality of a baseball bat,” this is basically a massive dildo that players can use to beat up anyone and everyone.
While it might sound ridiculous at first, the Penetrator was probably the best melee weapon throughout the Saints Row franchise, dealing out massive amounts of damage in a short space of time, and giving players a laugh while they were at it.
Nevan – Devil May Cry 3
Music has long been seen as the language of love. However, Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening would beg to differ. Unlocked after beating the boss Nevan, Dante is given the monster’s arm, which is suspiciously similar to a guitar, although a hideously mutated one at that.
The guitar-arm – obviously named after Nevan herself – only needs a few riffs in order for players to damage foes with lightning strikes and a swarm of bats. So, hurray for the power of love? Either that or Ozzy Osbourne is having a weird dream anytime someone boots up DMC 3.
Cup & Ball – Samurai Warriors
Oichi is supposed to add a cuteness element to Samurai Warriors, which helps explain her look and demeanor. However, the developers behind the game decided to take this to another level with her combat prowess and actual weapons.
Instead of being a fierce competitor like many of the rest of Samurai Warriors’ warriors, Oichi utilizes a Cup and Ball for her main weapon. Called a Kendama, Oichi’s weapon has a number of attacks where she launches, spins and kicks the ball at enemies.
In Samurai Warriors 3, however, the character has grown up and matured drastically, even going so far as to get married, so many players would expect that her fighting style has matured too. Her new primary weapon? A hula-hoop. Oh, Samurai Warriors…
Buster Sword – Final Fantasy VII
FFX isn’t the only Final Fantasy game to take the cake when it comes to ridiculous video game weapons; FFVII, which many in the industry credit as popularising the JRPG genre in the west, has its fair share of over the top weapons, from Barrett’s gun-arm to Sephiroth’s sword.
However, Cloud’s Buster Sword, as well as its variants, are the most recognizable of Final Fantasy VII’s ridiculous weapons. While swords in and of themselves aren’t ridiculous in a combat situation in the slightest, Cloud’s Buster Sword goes over the top in terms of its size.
In almost all visible circumstances, the Buster Sword – and all other swords that Cloud uses throughout the game – is about the same height, if not taller, than Cloud himself. The height alone should make it too ridiculous to use, nevermind the fact that its thickness makes it even worse.
Sheepinator – Ratchet & Clank
The Ratchet & Clank series has always had its fair share of unique weapons, which could comprise a list of ridiculous video game weapons all on its own. However, one that takes the cake is the Sheepinator from Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando.
The Sheepinator does exactly what you’d expect and turns enemies into sheep. As ridiculous as it sounds, the game decides to go further with the Black Sheepinator, turning enemies into sheep that explode, damaging enemies within a certain radius. However, players have to wait until about halfway through the game in order to start appreciating it.
At this point, it’s pretty obvious that ridiculous video game weapons are rampant across almost all genres. Did we miss any of your favorites? How about letting us know which ones we missed out on!
