I have A LOT of games. They traverse all the generations that have been, and there are some gems in there that I’ve yet to play. Fairytale Fights happened to be one of those, I popped it into my Xbox 360 recently at the behest of a friend, and the first thing that entered my mind was “Da fuq am I playing?”
Now, that didn’t mean I was playing a bad game, it just meant I didn’t know what the hell I was playing. There are so few games that catch me off guard like this one, that I just don’t know what to think about it until I put a few hours into it. I’m about four chapters into this game and I still don’t know what’s going on.
I put the game into the disc tray and waited for my Xbox 360 to load the game, once it did I was taken to a world of twisted fairy-tales where death loomed at every corner. It was as if Walt Disney had had an acid trip and now it was time for the chickens to come home to roost. You’re greeted to the fairy-tale hub world and get to choose a character, you can be Little Red Riding Hood, Beanstalk Jack, Snow White or The Naked King. Seeing as how I wanted to make this experience as whacky as possible, I chose the Naked King. I’ve never been in a naked fist fight, so there was no reason for me not to try it digitally. He’s not fully naked, there is well placed fig leaf on his royal junk, so you won’t be grossed out as you play.
I mastered the controls quite quickly, which was good seeing as I didn’t want to spend lots of time dying learning how to control my little naked despot. The combat did take a bit of getting use to, you fight the right thumb-stick, something that many games shy away from seeing as it is an unnatural way to play. If I’m playing a beat’em up I expect to use face buttons to pound on my enemies, I had to teach myself that hitting a face button means I’ll jump or drop my melee weapon. Once I murdered a few lumberjacks I was good to go.
The story’s stretched very thin, once you pick your character you have to help Goldilocks and the Three Bears find their missing porridge in the magical crock pot, which leads you through Fairy-Tale land. I found myself battling a host of mythical creatures, and turning them into a bloody mess, which the game is nice enough to show you in graphic detail in a split screen montage. I wasn’t expecting to watch a lumberjack be disemboweled on one half of my television as I defeated him with his own axe.
I’m still trekking through this game, I didn’t realize that it would be so long, I’m about to start chapter 5, and I googled it and there are sixteen chapters in the whole game. So I’ll be wondering what da fuq I’m playing for quite sometime. Hopefully this article will have piqued your interest and I’ll be slicing and dicing you in the area!
