People are voting like mad for certain characters to be in Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS. As part of that vote, the voter has to give a reason why the character should be in Smash. What follows is how the characters friends or girlfriends or family members would write in to get them in on this “reality” game.
5) Solid Snake/Big Boss
“Snake’s going through some troubling times at Konami right now, and might need to get some aggression out by beating the hell out of cute mascots. Snake, while being a tough macho man, may need that shoulder to cry on. Princess Peach or Rosalina could surely offer that to him and possibly more.”
Regards,
Master Miller
4) Banjo Kazooie
“Banjo hasn’t been cute in quit sometime, his recent foray into racing games has shattered the memories of all N64 owners. He needs to be a fighter in this game to restore the broken faith of past N64 owners and to give him something to look forward too. Being paired up with the big shots like Mario and Pikachu may gain him more popularity and get him that comeback he so deserves.”
Sincerely,
Tooie
3) Jimmy Hopkins
“My poor boy, Jimmy, didn’t even make it through his first year of college and I just don’t know what to do. I know he’s great with his fists and can concoct a smoke and stink bomb with great ease, so maybe he will fit right in with you guys at Smash. He can throw a punch and hates cute little furry animals with a passion, that would give him the edge against those cute mush balls, Kirby and Jigglypuff. Please pick my little boy so that he can be on top again.”
Thank you,
Ms. Hopkins
2) Ryo Hazuki
“When we last saw Ryo he was in Guilin searching for pieces of a mirror, since then he has vanished from the world. We fear that Lan Di may have gotten him and ended his quest for vengeance on his father. However, we believe if we can find Lan Di and get him to Smash, Ryo would appear to finally take the revenge that he so deserves. I feel that, should Ryo finally finish his quest for vengeance, he can come back to Hong Kong and finish his life in peace.”
Regards,
Nozomi Harasaki
1) Conker
“Conker hasn’t taken the stress of running the kingdom too well and has been in rehab for the past ten years trying to kick his alcohol habit. Nothing’s worked and I feel this is his final chance to get on the wagon. Conker needs to be on top and he has the skill to defeat everyone in Smash. He can beat his opponents by peeing on them and beating them within inches of death with a bat. Conker can do this, Smash is his last hope at getting clean and back on the throne, please help him.”
Please,
Berri
No no no no no no no oh and did I mention no
No no no no no no no oh and did I mention no
…
…