5 Titles That Need Duke Nukem Dropped In

I was lucky enough to review Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition and had the privilege of playing through the main campaign as Duke Nukem. I cannot stress enough how hilarious this experience has been, just randomly dropping a new lead into the game without changing anything else. I think that is what makes the campaign so much funnier, the fact that Ishi and everyone else is calling Duke Grey and he keeps telling them who he really is. Plus the fact that John St. John reprises his role as Duke makes everything all the more knee slapping and inappropriate. My dad was even surprised when he heard Duke mutter “Cocksucker” to a bounty hunter early on in the game. This got me thinking; what other games would the inclusion of Duke Nukem make both hilarious and more fun.

5) Borderlands

(Borderlands - 2k Games)

(Borderlands – 2k Games)

This series is perfect for Duke Nukem, and I always wondered why Gearbox never included him as an unlockable character or as some special DLC. He fits into this world that is wrought with guns and deadly at every step. Duke isn’t a team player and I can see him reminding any of your co-op friends of that. Telling them how bad of a shot they are, why they have such a pea-shooter and a gun and so on. I would hope that Gearbox wouldn’t cell-shade him, they would just drop him in and he would stand out like a beacon of normalcy in an otherwise funnily shaded world. I’m no developer but I’m thinking that making his special move have to do with Brass Balls would be amazing, perhaps a huge brass ball shield or weapon type. I dunno, I don’t get paid for that yet. Hopefully we’ll see Duke in Borderlands 3, so that I can continue my immature chuckles until he gets a new game for himself.

4) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

(The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)

One of the biggest (if not the biggest game of 2017) games recently released could do with a bit more humor from Duke Nukem. With there really not being tons of dialog in this title to begin with Duke could take control of this game. Rambling and rambling as you wander the field of Hyrule with no idea what to do and dodging all the one hit kills. His reactions to weapons breaking would be great too, or the fact that some of your weapons are body parts would be pure gold. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Duke Nukem glide all over tarnation and have to deal with that annoying child at the top of the mountain? Link won’t tell her to shut up, but Duke Nukem would and it would be FANTASTIC!

3) Final Fantasy XV

(Final Fantasy XV - Square Enix)

(Final Fantasy XV – Square Enix)

The latest Final Fantasy is a great game of epic proportions, but after playing it for several hours I realized that it was just a Bro road trip, and who is the biggest Bro of them all? Duke Nukem. I’m thinking a Duke/Gladiolus swap seeing he is the most Bro-ish, and the toughest in the group. I think that Duke giving all these guys crap about what they wear, their haircuts, how they fight, all the endless side quests would be wet your pants funny; especially if they used the same writers they used for Bulletstorm. Duke spitting out Ignis’ dinners and wondering why they’re camping instead of living it up at a nice hotel since he’s travelling with royalty would make a great cut scene. Cid rejecting all of Duke’s advances would be quite humorous as well, I can’t imagine her wanting to have anything to do with Duke Nukem, but I could be wrong; stranger things have happened.

2) Star Wars: Battlefront

(Star Wars: Battlefront - EA)

(Star Wars: Battlefront – EA)

Seeing as this game didn’t have a campaign and was multiplayer only, Duke’s addition could be an unlockable one. I would like his commentary on how EA shipped out half of a game and the fact there is no campaign for gamers to enjoy. Jokes about the fifty dollar Season Pass would also have to be said, there’s nothing funnier than self defamation and Duke Nukem letting you know where you went wrong. Plus who wouldn’t want to see Duke Nukem and his brass balls take on the Dark Lord of the Sith? That would be one epic, funny and amazing battle. I would happily pay for the Season Pass if they added a little Duke to my galaxy.

1) Resident Evil VII

(Resident Evil VII - Capcom)

(Resident Evil VII – Capcom)

I cannot imagine how hilarious it would be to replace Ethan from Resident Evil VII with Duke Nukem. Just dropping him in the Baker Mansion with no explanation and without any changes to the original dialog. His reactions to The Molded, the chainsaw incident and so on would be pure comedic gold. Can you imagine what Duke would say every time he bumped in Granny in the wheelchair? “You again wrinkles,” and the like would probably almost make me wet my pants, especially if they get John St. John again. There rarely is humor in the Resident Evil games, this would be a nice added touch, plus maybe some bonus weapons from Duke’s own universe.

What games would you like to see Duke added to, there has to be more than this. Let me know in the comments or on Twitter @SuperJerry13.

  • HurtingYourFeelings

    Duke Nukem in Zelda?

    Yeah, you’re a delusional f*ckwit.

    Why do people like you post articles?

    • Why do trolls exist? These are all existential questions lol. I’d say a little Duke in all games wouldn’t hurt. :p

      • Jerry Dobracki

        Yeah, I thought Link killed all the Trolls… he’d better get on it.

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